北京卷-三年（2017—2019）中考英语满分作文解析 12页

作文 01 北京卷 2019 年 文段表达 从下面两个题目中任选一题，根据中文和英文提示，完成一篇不少于 50 词的文段写作。文中已给出内 容不计入总词数。所给提示词语仅供选用。请不要写出你的校名和姓名。 题目① 假如你是李华,你们学校正在开展“安全月”宣传活动，倡议大家制作关于安全教育的主题海报，你们班 交换生 Peter 给你发邮件询问相关事情。请用英语回复一封邮件，告诉他海报上交的时间，并分享你设计海 报的一些想法。 提示词语: design，safety rule，careful，protect，picture 提示问题: When should you hand in the poster? What would you like to share with Peter about designing the poster? Dear Peter, I’m glad to receive your email _________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ If there is anything more that I can help with, please let me know. Yours, Li Hua 题目② 自律，即自我约束，是自我提升的一种途径，有助于我们成长，促使我们不断前行。 某英文网站正在开展以“自律”为主题的征文活动。假如你是李华，请用英语写一篇短文投稿，谈谈为了 增强自律意识，你做过什么，以及这样做给你带来的好处。 提示词语: self-disciplined(自律的)，plan，goal，habit，improve 提示问题: What did you do to be self-disciplined? What benefits have you got from doing so? Self-discipline plays an important role in our life__________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2019 年书面表达题目具有以下三个特点： 一、注重教育性，突出育人价值 注重对学生情感价值观的引导，坚持立德树人、育人为本。 题目 1 要求学生写一封关于“安全月”宣传海报制作的电子邮件，引导学生增强安全意识。 题目 2 围绕“自律”这一话题，要求学生谈谈为了增强自律意识，做过什么，以及这样做的意义，鼓励学 生从我做起，增强自律意识。任务要求符合学生能力水平，自然融入了社会主义新时期对学生能力和品格 的要求。 二、注重选择性，体现开放性 2019 年中考英语试题书面表达继续采用二选一的考查形式。 题目 1 要求学生写一篇关于安全海报制作的电子邮件，突出“做事”，题目 2 要求学生就“自律”这 一话题写一篇短文投稿，突出“说事”。两道题目话题不同、形式不同，学生任选一道题目作答，充分尊 重学生的个性化学习特点和不同思维需求，给学生更多的选择空间。同时，题目关注了学生的个体学习特 点和生活体验，设置了开放的情景，鼓励不同语言水平和思维层次的学生结合自身的实际，展示自己多年 的语言积累，呈现出多样化、个性化的语言表达和多角度的思维方法，为各层次的学生搭建了一个展示自 我的平台。 三、注重实践性，凸显学以致用 2019 年中考英语试题书面表达注重测试任务的真实性和实践性，考查学生在真实情境中运用所学知识 解决问题的能力。题目将语言知识和技能、文化知识以及学习策略的考查融合在完成邮件和征文投稿的具 体社会情境的任务之中。 题目 1 要求学生通过邮件分享设计海报的想法，题目 2 要求学生为网站投稿，谈论自己的做法和想法。 任务设置贴近时代、贴近生活、贴近学生，体现了对写邮件、制作海报、投稿等实践活动的考查，鼓励学 生学以致用，以用促学，更好地促进了学生语言运用能力的发展。 题目① Dear Peter, I’m glad to receive your email. As it is required，you are supposed to hand in the poster before next Friday. Being your close friend，I am extremely willing to share some ideas about designing the poster with you. First and foremost，the basic safety rules are of great importance，which should be included in your poster. In the second place， following the safety rules is so meaningful and crucial that you had better remind your readers of its significance and advise them to be careful both in and out of school. Last but by no means least，if I were you，I would add a few suggestions about safety awareness，considering that better safe than sorry. In addition，it is a good idea for you to draw a few pictures on your poster so as to make it more lively and acceptable. If there is anything more that I can help with, please let me know. Yours, Li Hua 【名师点评】 这篇作文要求我们以李华的身份给 Peter 写一封邮件，告诉他关于制作关于安全教育的主题海报的相关 事宜。由题目中给出的提示问题可知，短文中应包括以下内容：首先告诉 Peter 海报上交的时间；然后和他 分享一些设计海报的想法。第二个内容应该是短文的主体。题目中并没有规定具体的写作内容，学生们应 联系自己的实际生活，展开合理的想象，将这些内容补充完整后，用正确的英语表达出来，这是写作中的 一个难点。短文应以一般现在时为主、第一、二人称来叙述。写作时应注意：首先要合理安排短文内容， 叙述应有层次、有条理。可以使用一些表示先后顺序的词或短语，如 First, Second, Last but not least 等等。 题目中给出的提示词应该在短文中用上。其次应注意文章的表达，英语句式的结构与汉语是不同的，因此 不能根据汉语思维逐词翻译，应该从句式的整体考虑，先确定主干结构，然后添加修饰成分。为提升作文 档次，应注意使用一些高级词汇、短语以及复合句、非谓语动词等复杂结构。同时语句之间使用恰当的连 接成分，使文意上下连贯，表达流畅。 【写作亮点】 这是一篇优秀的作文，短文作者根据题目要求，给 Peter 写邮件，告诉他制作主题海报的一些事情。短 文有以下几个优点：首先文章内容完整，结构清晰，符合题目要求。除题目中给出的开头和结尾，短文主 要包括两个内容：第一段用一句话告诉 Peter 上交海报的时间；文章的中心和重点是放在了第二段上，这一 段中作者和 Peter 分享了一些制作海报的想法。主要从四个方面进行阐述，内容非常详实，并使用了 First and foremost, In the second place, Last but by no means least, In addition 等短语，分清了这一段的层次，叙述非常 有条理。其次短文中使用了正确的时态和人称，语法规范，用词准确，并使用了较复杂的句式结构，表现 了作者较强的语言运用能力。短文中较好的句型有：Being your close friend，I am extremely willing to share some ideas about designing the poster with you.、In the second place，following the safety rules is so meaningful and crucial that you had better remind your readers of its significance and advise them to be careful both in and out of school、 In addition，it is a good idea for you to draw a few pictures on your poster so as to make it more lively and acceptable. 等等。 题目② Self-discipline plays an important role in our life. To be honest, I am a person who is self-disciplined. I used to follow all kinds of rules and hand in the tasks appointed on time at school. And I could not only respected all my teachers but also get on well with my classmates. At home, I was able to balance housework and homework. I usually made a plan in advance to make it easier to achieve my goal. After finishing all the task, I developed the habit of going to bed early and going to bed early. In the society，I spared no effort to improve myself all the time. In a word, I have benefited a lot from being self-discipline. First of all, I have had many good habits, which makes my life easier and more regular. Secondly, my life and my study have been to high efficiency so that a lot of time has been saved. Thirdly, being self-disciplined has prepared me for a better and brighter future. In the future, I will continue to be a self-disciplined person. 【名师点评】 这篇作文要求我们以李华的身份，用英语写一篇短文给某网站投稿，谈谈为了增强自律意识，你做过 什么，以及这样做给你带来的好处。根据题目中给出的问题可知，短文应包括以下内容：首先谈一谈为了 增强自律意识，你做过什么？然后谈谈这样做给你带来的好处。第一个内容应主要使用一般过去时；第二 个内容应主要使用现在完成时。注意谓语动词的正确形式。题目中并没有规定具体的写作内容，学生们应 联系自己的实际生活，展开合理的想象，将这些内容补充完整后，用正确的英语表达出来，这是写作中的 一个难点。写作时应注意：首先注意内容的完整、充实，学生们可以结合自己的实际生活，写一写自己平 时的做法。注意叙述应有层次、有条理。其次应注意英语的表达问题，英语句式的结构与汉语是不同的， 因此不能根据汉语思维逐词翻译，应该从句式的整体考虑，先确定主干结构，然后添加修饰成分。为提升 作文档次，应注意使用一些高级词汇、短语以及复合句、非谓语动词等复杂结构。同时语句之间使用恰当 的连接成分，使文意上下连贯，表达流畅。 【写作亮点】 这是一篇优秀的作文，短文作者根据题目要求，介绍了自己第自律的认识，结合自己的实际谈论了自 律的好处。短文有以下几个优点：首先文章内容完整、充实，短文主要分两段：第一段中作者介绍了自己 在家里、在学校以及在社会上是如何遵守规则，进行自我约束的。这一段的内容叙述很有条理，从 at school, At home, In the society 三个方面进行介绍。第二段中作者主要阐述了自律给自己带来的好处，使用了 Firstly, Secondly, Thirdly，从三个方面进行介绍。其次短文中使用了正确的时态和人称，谓语动词形式准确，语法 规范，句式结构文章，且使用了较高级的词汇和复杂句式，提升了作文档次，展现了作者扎实的写作功底。 文章中较好的句型有：I used to follow all kinds of rules and hand in the tasks appointed on time at school.、I usually made a plan in advance to make it easier to achieve my goal.、First of all，I have had many good habits，which makes my life easier and more regular.、Thirdly, being self-disciplined has prepared me for a better and brighter future.等 等。 2018 年 题目① 假如你是李华，你们学校将要举办一场关于京剧的讲座，你打算邀请你们班交换生 Peter 参加。请用英 语写一封电子邮件，告诉他讲座的时间和地点，以及需要做什么准备。 提示词语：lecture（讲座）, invite, information, question, online 提示问题： ●When and where will you have the lecture? ●What do you advise Peter to prepare for it? Dear Peter, How is it going? There’ll be a lecture on Peking Opera in our school. _________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ If there is anything that I can do, please let me know. Yours, Li Hua 题目② ＂静以修身，俭以养德＂，勤俭节约是中华民族的传统美德。无论生活富足与否，我们都应该提倡节 约，杜绝浪费。某英文网站正在开展以＂节约是美德＂为主题的征文活动。假如你是李华，请用英语写一 篇短文投稿，谈谈生活中你是怎么做的，以及这样做的意义。 提示词语：thrifty（节约的）, save, turn off, food, money, virtue（美德） 提示问题： ●What do you do in your daily life? ●Why do you do so? It’s one of our traditional virtues to be thrifty._____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2018 年北京卷中考作文与 2017 年相比，在考试形式上没有什么特殊的变化，还是二选一，学生选择其 中一题完成任务的考试形式。都是围绕着一个主题，根据题目提供的信息，提示词和两个问句进行内容的 写作。话题仍贴近学生的实际生活，让学生学以致用。第一个题目主要考查学生的应用能力；第二个话题 相对较难，试题以日常生活中的小事为切入点，着眼于中华民族优秀传统文化＂俭以养德＂。引导学生从 自身做起，增强勤俭节约意识，积极践行社会主义核心价值观，传承中华民族传统美德。 题目① Dear Peter, How is it going? There’ll be a lecture on Peking opera in our school .The Peking opera will start at 10:00 this Friday morning in the school hall. I am writing to invite you to take part in the meaningful lecture. In the lecture, we can not only get some useful information about the Peking opera ,but also get close to the traditional Chinese culture, which can benefit us a lot. There are some suggestions for you to prepare for it. First of all, remember to be there on time, what’s more, don’t forget to bring a camera with you ,which can record the precious moment, last but not least, it’s a golden chance for you to come up with some questions that you are willing to learn about. If there is anything that I can do please let me know. Yours, Li Hua 【名师点评】 这是一篇提纲作文，因为要邀请交换生 Peter 参加京剧讲座。所以要根据提纲中的相关信息向 Peter 介 绍一下京剧讲座的时间和地点以及需要做什么准备。时态为一般现在时，人称为第一人称。写作时，在解 答写作这类试题时，要根据短文的中心思想考虑如何开头、展开和结尾，设想几个承上启下的连词，将主 要句型、关键词语记下，形成提纲，写时切忌结构分散，废话连篇，严重跑题。语法要正确，表达要符合 英语习惯，注意时态、时间状语的搭配及主谓一致问题。写作中适当使用连词，注意上下文联系紧密，符 合逻辑关系，表达具有条理性。 【高分句型一】 I am writing to invite you to take part in the meaningful lecture. 我写信是想邀请你参加这个有意义的演讲。这 里 invite sb. to do sth. 表示邀请某人做某事。 【高分句型二】 If there is anything that I can do, please let me know. 如果有什么我能做的，请告诉我。这里 let sb. do sth. 表示 让某人做某事。 题目② It’s one of our traditional virtues to be thrifty. Being thrifty is a good virtue which has been passed down from generation to generation. It’s a good idea to start on in our daily life. First of all, I constantly check the lights and the taps to make sure that they are off when leaving the house. Besides, never have I wasted any food. What’s more, I don’t spend too much money on unnecessary things and save money regularly. The reason why I do so is that I want to make a difference to my life. As the old saying goes, ＂ Waste not, want not.＂ I make up my mind to be thrifty as much as possible. I think everyone should take actions to stick to this virtue. 【名师点评】 本文体裁属于议论文，话题是＂节约是美德＂，难度等级属于中上，是常见的中考作文话题之一。本 文需要考生写出生活中是如何提倡节约，杜绝浪费的。具体应从两个方面去写：一、在日常生活中你都做 了什么？二、你为什么要这样做？仔细阅读文中所给提示，弄清试题提供的所有信息，明确有哪些要点。 根据要表达的内容确定本文应以第一人称去写，描述的是日常生活中如何节约的，时态应为一般现在时。 写作时应注意上下文意思连贯，符合逻辑关系，层次清楚。 本文是一篇优秀的作文，围绕主题展开论述且包含所有内容要点；上下文意思连贯，层次清楚，用词 准确、句子通顺、行文连贯。首先第一段直奔主题，提出＂节约是美德＂，运用定语从句阐述了节约是中 华民族的传统美德，以此说明节约的重要性，Being thrifty is a good virtue which has been passed down from generation to generation. 接着号召大家在日常生活中要从自身做起。 It’s a good idea to start on in our daily life. 接着，在第二段中介绍了平常是如何做的，采用三个连词 First of all, Besides，What’s more，清楚地举例介 绍了自己生活中节约的三件小事，＂检查是否关灯和水龙头，不浪费食物，不乱花钱。＂最后一段，说明 这样做的原因，用句型＂The reason why I do so is that I want to make a difference to my life.＂总述原因，观点 明确。还能引用谚语 As the old saying goes, ＂ Waste not, want not.＂ 为文章添彩。 2017 年 题目① 假如你是李华，正在美国参加一个交换生项目。今天下午你应邀和朋友 Jim 一家外出，请用英语给接 待家庭的妈妈 Mrs. Smith 写一个留言条，告诉她你们要去哪里，去做什么，以及你回家的时间和方式。 提示词语：park, movie theater, go boating, watch a movie 提示问题：Where are you going? What are you going to do? When and how will you get home? Dear Mrs. Smith, My friend Jim asks me to go out with his family this afternoon.______________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Yours, Li Hua 题目② 宽容是一种美德。人与人之间难免会有磕磕绊绊。面对矛盾，多一份包容和谅解，生活就会多一缕阳光。 某英文网站正在开展以＂包容、谅解＂为主题的征文活动。假如你是李华，请用英语写一篇短文投稿，谈 谈生活中你原谅他人的一次经历，主要内容包括：你们之间发生了什么，你为什么原谅对方，以及原谅对 方之后的感受。 提示词语：hurt, realize, forgive（原谅）, happy 提示问题：What happened between you and him/her? Why did you decide to forgive him/her? How did you feel after forgiving him/her? I still remember what happened between________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ 2017 年北京中考作文与 2016 年相比，在考试形式上没有什么特殊的变化，还是二选一，学生选择其中 一题完成任务的考试形式。都是围绕着一个主题，根据题目提供的信息，提示词和两个问句进行内容的写 作。话题仍贴近学生的实际生活，让学生有话可说。第一个题目更强调对语言的实际应用能力；第二个话 题相对较难，考查学生的思想深度和语言能力，突出社会主义核心价值观。 题目① Dear Mrs. Smith, My friend Jim asks me to go out with his family this afternoon. I am writing to tell you that we will meet in the park. Then we will go to the movie theater to watch a movie. Finally, we are going to go boating in the lake. Don’t worry about me. We will be back at 6:00 p.m. Jim’s father will send me home by taxi. I am sure to have a lot of fun. Waiting for my back. Yours, Li Hua 【名师点评】 这是一篇应用文，写一篇留言条。也是一篇材料作文，给出了一些材料，并给出了一些提示单词和提 示问题。我们要根据提示材料和问题（Where are you going? What are you going to do? When and how will you get home?）用正确的英语把要点表达出来，用上所给单词，并适当发挥想象。动笔前要认真阅读材料， 不要遗漏要点。根据材料内容可知本文主要是用一般将来时来写。首先，回答 “Where are you going?” 要明 确写出外出的地点。然后回答“What are you going to do?”具体写出我们到达外出地之后所进行的活动。接着 回答“When and how will you get home?”需要写出回家的方式和到家的时间。最后，写希望家里的妈妈不要为 我担心。写作中要适当使用连词，注意叙述的顺序，要符合逻辑关系。 【写作亮点】 这篇短文语句通顺，表达准确。学习中注意总结，牢记一些固定句式及短语,特别适用了表示先后顺序 的词 Then，Finally,使表达具有条里性，句式 Don’t worry about me. .I am sure to 等的使用，更增加了文章的 色彩，此文表达具有逻辑性,，有条理。 题目② I still remember what happened between me and Tom. Yesterday, I had a fight with my friend Tom. He took away my pen without my agreement. My father bought it for me last year, and I like it very much. His behavior hurt me. I was very angry. For his sorry, he wrote a card:＂Sorry, please forgive me＂. He felt ashamed for what he did. At last I realized that I was too stingy. I choose to forgive him. He was very happy for my forgiveness. I was very happy, too. Through this matter, we became good friends. As the Chinese old saying goes＂To err is human＂. In our whole long life, I believe, nobody can make no mistakes. Children may broke bowls, students may cheat or do something against the teacher, and grown-ups may do something wrong on their work or even something against the law. Keeping something unpleasant in mind does no good to us. Letting the unhappy matters go brings happiness and pleasure back to our life. 【名师点评】 本文属于话题类作文，话题是“包容、谅解”。主要关于个人经历的，需要考生写出谅解他人的经历，具 体内容围绕以下三个方面：1.你们之间发生了什么事？2.你为什么决定原谅他（她）？3.谈谈你原谅他（她） 之后的感受。仔细阅读有关提示，弄清试题提供的所有信息，明确有哪些要点。考生需要从三个方面作答， 指出原谅对方的一件事情，原谅的原因以及原谅之后的感受。根据要表达的内容确定句子的时态、语态； 语言表达要符合英语习惯。写作时注意准确运用时态，上下文意思连贯，符合逻辑关系。 【亮点说明】 这是一篇比较优秀的作文，本文很好地完成了试题规定的任务。覆盖所有内容要点；语言表达要符合 英语习惯，准确运用时态，上下文意思连贯，用词准确、句子通顺、行文连贯。首先指出原谅的对象，“I still remember what happened between me and Tom.” 接着详细描述发生的事情，先指出矛盾点，“Yesterday ,I had a fight with my friend Tom. He took away my pen without my agreement…” 然后，描述转折点，是他认识了错误，给我道歉 For his sorry, he wrote a card:” Sorry, please forgive me”. He felt ashamed for what he do. 事情发展的最后，我原谅了朋友并拥抱和好，“I choose to forgive him. He was very happy for my forgiveness. I was very happy, too. Through this matter, we became good friends..”最后描述自己的感悟 As the Chinese old saying … Letting the unhappy matters go brings happiness and pleasure back to our life.